The gentle art of verbal self-defense

Learn how to detect the subtle "put-downs," insults and other verbal blows that almost everyone uses--parents and children, husbands and wives. teachers and students, and friends and lovers. Most of us are under verbal attack every day and often don't even realize it. In this book you'll learn the skills you need to respond to all types of verbal attack. Specific strategies for your defense include: twelve rules of clear, effective interaction; recognition of five verbal modes--the Placator, Blamer, Distractor, Computer, and Leveler; tone of voice--make yours bolder and more assertive; alternative scripts--better approaches to common confrontation; body language--how it supports what you say; and in special chapters directed to both men and women, the author explains how women have long been the verbal victims of men and what both sexes can do to break this destructive pattern.--From publisher description.

Obscenities, ethnic and sexist epithets, cutting jokes, subtle put-downs -- whether shouted, said with a smile, or sent via e-mail -- are all verbal abuse. For many it is the everyday language of doing business. Suzette Haden Elgin, nationally recognized linguistics expert and author, applies her acclaimed techniques for combating verbal violence to common on-the-job situations. Forceful yet nonthreatening, her proven strategies will empower workers of every level to recognize verbal abuse, gently defuse it, and replace it with courteous and effective communication. Citing examples grabbed from the headlines, Dr. Elgin reveals the cost of demeaning and destructive language to any business. Step by step, she shows how to identify, and conquer the verbal toxins at the root of workplace hostility and tension. Readers will learn how to avoid "malpractice of the mouth" and sexual harassment; communicate sensitively and clearly with non-native English speakers; come across as strong, straightforward, and truthful; and take complete control of any verbal confrontation -- calmly. Workout sections throughout the book provide plenty of opportunities for practice. With a look at communication skills crucial for e-mail, voice mail, and the Internet, as well as the special challenges facing home-based and virtual businesses, The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work is the definitive guide to effective and humane communication on the job. -- Description from amazon.co.uk (Oct. 28, 2011).